Being a parent is hard.
Very hard.
But, it’s not hard because of the sleep deprivation.
It’s not hard because of the lack of free time.
It’s not hard because of the decisions about picking the right day care, how long to breast feed or feeling guilt over going back to work.
It’s hard because of the LOVE.
The love you feel for your child is unbelievably and absolutely immeasurable. Your every thought is about them. You know you would do anything for them. You can’t imagine anything happening to them and you do everything in your power to prevent any sickness or hurt from ever coming to them.
This is a post I wrote on my personal Facebook page in early March-
"Well, I've been a mom for two weeks now and here are some things I've learned-
I still can't get used to the word 'mom'; that can't be me, no way.
Fold over mitten cuffs are a wonderful invention and should be required on all baby clothing.
I narrate and sing everything to Murphy, even trips to the kitchen to get paper towels.
There's no limit to the things I can now do one handed.
Seeing my new baby gagging on milk is the scariest thing ever.
Seeing my husband become an awesome daddy is the best thing ever.
Sleep deprivation is hard. Breast feeding is harder.
I laugh at Murphy's milk-drunk faces every.single.time. I also take pictures of them.
New mommy hormones seem to be way stronger than pregnancy hormones, but maybe it's just the lack of sleep thing.
There's not much out there that's better than this precious little baby snuggled up and asleep on my chest.
Unconditional love is the real deal, y'all."
Everything people tell you before you become a parent is absolutely true. “It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but the best thing you’ll ever do.” “Time goes by so fast.” “They grow up too soon.” I heard all of those things, but never really understood them until now. My sweet boy is only 4 months old and yet time truly has flown by. I look back at pictures from when we first brought him home and I can’t believe how tiny he was. I watch videos I took of him yawning, stretching and moving around in my lap and it seems so long ago already. I regularly flip through the hundreds of photos I’ve taken of him on my phone and smile and cry and laugh. We recently moved him to his crib, and every night I stand there and just watch him sleep. So tiny, so peaceful, so perfect. I’ve never cried as much as I have in the past 4 months, just thinking about everything that I love about him.
A teacher friend and I were talking about a month ago and she remarked, in awe, that now I was a mom and how that was “Forever. Like really forever.” And yes, she was completely right that being a parent is a forever commitment, but when you feel this much love for one little perfect being, you cannot imagine it NOT being forever. You can’t imagine not being there for every milestone that they reach. Every bittersweet milestone, where the excitement for their growth and progress is paired with wishing they could stay this little forever.
Recently, I’ve heard and read about a few families that have lost their precious babies and it tears me up inside. A family at my church just lost their son when he was only 2 days old. Another family I read about on Facebook recently lost their little girl to leukemia when she was just 2 months old. I cannot fathom how they go on with their daily lives after such a tragic loss. I really cannot imagine the pain they go through every morning and every night, and my heart breaks for them. It was after reading about that loss that I started writing this post. I was crying too much to fall asleep. It is just a painful reminder to not take anything for granted. Hug those that you love a little bit longer. Don’t forget to say I love you. Tighten those car seat straps just a little bit tighter.
I just gave my sweet boy another kiss goodnight and I can’t wait for him to wake me up early tomorrow for another day together. Another day of tummy time and rolling over. Another day of taking walks outside and looking at the birds. Another day of coos and cuddles. Another day of seeing him look up and smile at his daddy.
I know that I don’t know what’s in store for my family on this “forever” journey, but I know I can’t wait for more milestones as they get here. His first laugh. His first step. His first day of school. I really do understand how great my own parents are now and know why they stayed up when I missed curfew and why they told me not to drive over the speed limit and I know they feel this same love for me and for my sister. I hope you all experience love like this several times in your life because it is the best feeling in the world.
